The Top Ten:
1. I Hate U, I Love U – Gnash ft. Olivia O’Brien
2. Just Like Fire – P!nk
3. Don’t Let Me Down – The Chainsmokers ft. Daya
4. 7 Years – Lukas Graham
5. Faded – Alan Walker
6. Work From Home – Fifth Harmony ft. Ty Dolla $ign
7. Be The One – Dua Lipa
8. The Sound of Silence – Disturbed
9. I Took a Pill in Ibiza – Mike Posner
10. One Dance – Drake ft. Wizkid & Kyla
We get a small handful of new entries into this week’s top ten, the biggest of which is the debut of P!nk’s new single “Just Like Fire”. I honestly didn’t think P!nk still had the fanbase and relevancy to debut in the top ten let alone near the top anymore, but whether the P!nk nation (or whatever they call themselves) are still going strong or if the single is merely benefitting from the movie it is putting its name to, I have been proven wrong. Either way, it should surely dethrone “I Hate U, I Love U” next week, I don’t know if it’s my general indifference towards the track but how it’s managed to hold on to the top for two weeks now baffles me. What doesn’t baffle me is our next new entry, “Be The One” by Dua Lipa which is looking set for the long-term radio stint I predicted, which is great. Joining it is Drake’s “One Dance”, which apparently has mainstream audiences believing tolerable = good.
1. Be The One – Dua Lipa
2. One Dance – Drake ft. Wizkid & Kyla
3. Panda – Desiigner
It’s oddly satisfying to see this track doing well with its rise to 32, the raucous beat and general high-intensity shenanigans that drives it has undoubtedly been the source of many a full dancefloor already and as it gradually reaches for higher positions it will continue to do so. Desiigner could probably quit his music career tomorrow with the amount of royalties he is set to gain from the continual success of this humble banger.
4. Close – Nick Jonas, Tove Lo
I really can’t see this going too much further than 37, everything about this track is just so middle of the road and neither Nick Jonas nor Tove Lo have enough star-power to propel it. Hopefully we see Tove’s Flume collaboration hitting the charts next week though, that track is far more interesting.
1. My House – Flo Rida
In a week where many of the losses can be attributed to natural losses of momentum and many singles begin their graceful descent off the chart, I can’t help but feel like “My House” has underperformed as it drops to 17. This is possibly due to it being a pretty dime a dozen mild party ditty by Flo Rida of all people, how does this guy have longevity?
2. Hide Away – Daya
Daya has also only had limited success with “Hide Away” as it drops to 19, though her presence on that Chainsmokers song softens this blow significantly.
3. Dance Off – Macklemore and Ryan Lewis ft. Idris Elba and Anderson .Paak
Yes! Here’s hoping this sharp decline keeps up.
4. Hymn For The Weekend – Coldplay
Natural decline etc.
5. Sorry – Justin Bieber
Natural decline etc. x2
6. Me, Myself & I – G-Eazy ft. Bebe Rexha
Natural decline etc. x3 This song did way better than anyone planned it would anyway.
7. Stitches – Shawn Mendes
Natural decline etc. x4
8. Like I Would – Zayn
Why this was chosen to be Zayn’s next single I’ll never know, I dig the fluid and bassy production on the chorus but it is one of the biggest indicators of Zayn’s weak songwriting on all of Mind of Mine. Hopefully “She” is released as a follow-up and performs better than a drop to 44 after not even touching the top 20.
9. Team – Iggy Azalea
This is a national tragedy, like I know there isn’t a lot in the way of good flows or lyrics here but I’ll be damned if that beat doesn’t slap and that hook isn’t somewhat catchy. I think the main issue with “Team” is that the abrasive beat and aggressive delivery is trying to appeal to that same youthful audience who decided its lame to enjoy Iggy Azalea a long time ago, hence its sore drop to 45.
1. Just Like Fire – P!nk
I feel like P!nk’s return to chart prominence should hopefully be the nail in Rachel Platten’s musical coffin the world (I) have been waiting for. The fact that P!nk is only half-trying here and still manages to create a much better pseuo-inspirational self-love anthem than “Fight Song” is telling. While it seriously lacks when compared to P!nk’s better material, the acoustic textures, okay hook and usual brand of P!nk vocal excellence keeps it away from her worst material. Now if only it wasn’t attatched to the pointless Alice in Wonderland sequel that just shouldn’t be happening…
2. If it Ain’t Love – Jason Derulo
I was actually not dreading the next Jason Derulo after that not too bad “Want to Want Me” and the genuinely excellent “Cheyenne” last year. As such, “If it Ain’t Love” is very underwhelming and it seemingly knows this as it blasts by at a tempo that sounds like a decent song that is being fast forwarded. The lyrics are painfully generic, any of the decent percussion or synth textures zip by before you can really appreciate them and Derulo is still a very mediocre performer. This also totally rips that Spiller song from years ago.
3. Lot to Learn – Luke Christopher
Is Luke Christopher a rapper or a singer? It’s hard to tell on his breakout single as he lacks the technical ability to play either role convincingly. His flow on the first half of the track is insufferably sloppy and his voice only reaches the most boring of melodies. Also, you hear that relentless piano line and those strings? That means that song is inspiring and you should be inspired by it, are you inspired? Jesus Christ…
4. Jumpman – Drake, Future
Somehow this massive banger is only just charting, likely due to ‘Views From the 6’ hype. This is appropriate as Drake renders Future a pretty much non-presence on here, his paranoid bars fitting perfectly with the ominously ethereal synths which lay at the back of the dense percussion. Hopefully there’s more of this and less of “One Dance” when ‘Views…’ finally drops this Friday.
5. Kiss it Better – Rihanna
I think I was in the minority of people who enjoyed “Work” but nevertheless I think “Kiss it Better” should help hush the critics of Rihanna’s output so far this year. Anchored in a sexy, fuzzed out guitar line and reverb-laden dull synth stabs, “Kiss it Better” is a dysfunctional love song in which Rihanna begs her scorned lover to take her back no matter how many times they fall apart. It could be a recipe for disaster for a lesser performer but Rihanna’s bravado and confidence pulls it off wonderfully.
6. Cake by The Ocean – DNCE
A perfect example of abysmal songwriting and average performances ruining what should be an easily enjoyable Pop-Rock tune. The obnoxious lyrics shouldn’t spoil the enjoyment as much as they do, this is Pop music after all, but they’re so infuriatingly lazy and weak. Then there’s Joe Jonas’ weak falsetto on the chorus which stunts the hook immensely. At this rate Joe’s efforts in DNCE will easily be outshone by his brother Nick’s weak solo efforts.