The Top Ten:
1. One Dance – Drake ft. Wizkid & Kyla
2. This is What You Came For – Calivin Harris ft. Rihanna
3. Can’t Stop the Feeling – Justin Timberlake
4. Don’t Let Me Down – The Chainsmokers ft. Daya
5. Sound of Silence – Dami Im
6. No Money – Gatlantis
7. Just Like Fire – P!nk
8. I Hate U, I Love U – Gnash ft. Olivia O’Brien
9. Say It – Flume ft. Tove Lo
10. Panda – Desiigner
Of all the great things I can laud music streaming for; allowing One Dance to maintain this ridiculous chart run is not one of them. Of course Drake has massive radio support as well, but he can credit most of his success to streaming at this point. It’s still strange that Can’t Stop the Feeling is having a somewhat strong but not the dominating chart run we saw in the States. No Money shot into the charts because God abandoned humanity long ago; we have a debuting Eurovision entry and hallelujah! Panda cracks the top 10.
1. No Money – Gatlantis 11>6
2. Panda – Desiigner 15>10
3. Do it Right – Anne-Marie 32>22
I don’t know what it is, but something about Gatlantis’ overly transparent attempts at quirky EDM seems to go over well with the general public. I guess it could be considered catchy, but the horrid vocal effects and the ear-stabbing burst of percussion are just so unpleasant. Panda rising into the top ten is honestly pretty endearing and I can only pray for more ridiculous success for one of the most fun songs of the year. Finally, Do it Right is still moving to stake its claim as a summer hit and I am still unconvinced.
1. Dear Life – Delta Goodrem 15<3
2. Cheap Thrills – Sia 21<16
3. Girls Like – Tinie Temp ft. Zara Larsson 24<19
4. Stressed Out – Twenty One Pilots 25<18
5. 1955 – Hilltop Hoods ft. Montaigne & Tom Thum 28<23
6. The Sound of Silence – Disturbed 29<24
7. Lot to Learn – Luke Christopher 32<27
8. Hide Away – Daya 34<29
9. My Boo – Ghost Town DJs 36<26
10. One Call Away – Charlie Puth 39<33
11. Gold – Kiiara 41<36
12. Fast Car – Jonas Blue ft. Dakota 43<38
13. Formation – Beyonce 44<37
14. Pillowtalk – Zayn 46<41
The shedding of summer hits continues as we edge closer to winter with the once steady losers like Stressed Out and 1955 beginning to enter freefall. The meme finally starts to lose traction as My Boo slips ten places and Beyonce’s horrible chart run continues as Formation looks set to join Hold Up off the charts. Dear Life also slipped suddenly to 15 which is unfortunate but unsurprising given the kind of song it is, here’s hoping it can hold out to midway June at least.
1. Sound of Silence – Dami Im
Okay I have a confession to make, I have never watched, nor have I ever really cared about Eurovision (ABBA are rad though). Now that’s out the way I can at least confidently say this is better than Guy Sebastian’s input to the competition last year. The song is admittedly quite shallow, with hollow production and instrumentation which serves to do nothing more than bolster Dami Im’s vocal performance and lyrics that are completely irrelevant. All this should be a death sentence but Dami Im’s belting voice is just that excellent that I can’t help but enjoy this. Whether on the more hushed verses or on the gargantuan chorus Dami sounds massive all over this track making for a shallow but undeniable piece of vocal wank.
2. Me Too – Meghan Trainor
For fuck’s sake really? Look there wasn’t much Meghan Trainor could do to win me over at this point, I despised the clumsy political inferences and dull Doo-Wop stylings of Title and while NO was an improvement production-wise the clumsiness in her lyrics was only amplified. Me Too features a horrid instrumental base that is hopelessly erratic between the harmonized pre-chorus backed by organic drums to the tacky stabs of bass on the chorus which are paired with an insultingly condescending performance by Meghan. You better believe I don’t want to be you in any way, shape or form Megsy Trains.
3. The Fighter – Keith Urban ft. Carrie Underwood
Now I hardly fall into the target demographic for Pop-Country Keith Urban tunes, I tend to find he mostly appeals to mums, mums all around the world. That’s why it’s truly strange for me to admit I enjoy this. Firstly I must point out for the sake of all Country purists that this is not a Country song, the closest thing the Country about this song is Keith’s slight Southern drawl and even that is very subtle. This is a corny as hell basic Pop song that benefits from its agreeable production and above average vocal performances.
4. Too Good – Drake ft. Rihanna
I know I give off the impression that I hate Drake but in reality I don’t, in fact, all his studio releases (Take Care especially) have their bright points and Too Good is one of those points for Views. Drake and Rihanna continue to have great chemistry with each other on this dancehall track that sounds like what One Dance really should have been with it’s fleshed out instrumental enhanced perfectly by the subtle vocal samples deep in the mix. Sure Drake still comes across as obnoxious as he addresses a failing relationship by exclaiming how well he treated his partner, but at least with Rihanna in tow we get a balanced perspective on the narrative.
5. Hair – Little Mix
Black Magic was straight up one of the best Pop songs of last year and if you disagree you are so damn wrong. The first thing that strikes me about this track is its breakneck pace, with the beat firing off stabs of percussion like bullets from a machine gun. Little Mix still sound pretty great as a collective on the hook but are slightly underwhelming on the verses where they go off on their own tangents. Unfortunately the quick pace works against the song as it progresses, making it overstay it’s welcome far too quickly.
6. Needed Me – Rihanna
Did we really lose Kiss it Better for this? The thing with this track is that it is in no way offensively bad in the same way Me Too is, but it’s hard to understand the appeal really. Rihanna deliver what is probably her driest performance on ANTI over a hazy DJ Mustard beat and that’s about all folks. Perhaps the presence of those waving thuds of bass and swirling synths make it a more obvious choice for the current radio landscape but again, I don’t understand?
7. Sex – Cheat Codes X Kriss Kross Amsterdam
Whenever I see that distinctive S symbol I know I’m either in for something insufferably obnoxious or painfully mediocre. Sex bounces between the two of these as it tries to interpolate the classic Salt-N-Pepa hit into its generic EDM instrumentation. Choosing to cover such an iconic hit works against this song as the delivery is irritatingly off but even worse is when it diverges from the cover into its poetic statement, “do it in the shower, pussy power”, yeah nah guys this ain’t for me.